High Sperm Count
Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
Off to Vegas
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.
'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a
year!'
if you search info - internet directory
Doc, I've Got a Problem
A man visits his doctor.
"I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of
my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the
patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let
you do such a thing to me?"
"Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and
the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But
two weeks after the operation, he came back.
"Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has
turned blue too."
Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his
other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was
very reluctant. "Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc,
and the patient had to agree to the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned
to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My
penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc
gives him the bad news. If he wants to live, his penis has
to go.
Of course, he did not want to hear about it. "You really
want to die?", asked the doctor.
"But... how do I pee?"
"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no
problem."
So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation,
the unfortunate man again returns the doctor's office. He is
very angry.
"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue."
"What?"
"Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"
So, the doctor examined the patient more carefully this time, and says, "Hmmmm, I think its the jeans......"
Shopping Spree
Upon returning to her car from a shopping spree, one of a group of young ladies realizes that she has forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills.
She rushes into the nearest pharmacy and gives her prescription to the pharmacist.
"I'd appreciate it very much if you could fill this immediately," she says." I've got people waiting in my car!"
Three Words
What 3 words does a woman not want to hear when having sex?
Darling I'm home!
